The girlfriend is having her exams now. I just woke up at 1.30pm. ;/

Why do I feel like Malaysia is this dark gloomy place now? Maybe because I feel so much safer here, so much more free (from political crap and everything else), so much more peaceful, so much better.

It's so care-free here where I am shielded from the world. I am like those little people inside a snow globe. I don't need to care about anything else outside of that because everything that I want or need, I already have.

There's no traffic jam, no racial issues, no random fighting, no robbery/snatch-theft, no killing, no everything. Okay, maybe a little exagerrated, but hey, you get the point. Where I live is basically like a multi-cultural place, there's an awe of respect among each other. It's not like back home where there is a battle among three races, here this is what you call harmony. Although some of the locals are not that acceptable, but hey, every society has people like that.

Here I'm not afraid when I take public transport, I feel safe because not only is it efficient and reliable, the people who takes it are all ordinary people. In Malaysia you'll be worrying about pick-pockets, theft, random hissing, scary stalker-ish people, and those stupid taxi cases where they bring you to an isolated place and rape/kill/rob you.

Malaysia you have to build walls to protect yourself from break-ins, here you'll be surprised if someone even had one. You can't walk along the streets safely back home without worrying about a motorcycle running along and snatching your stuff or getting mugged by people sitting at bus stops or at predestrian bridges, you can't withdraw money from an ATM safely without worrying someone is following you or is waiting to hold a knife at you.

Maybe it's just here, maybe it's certain places in Malaysia. But hey, what have the police ever done in Malaysia to actually attempt to cure her of this disease? They say we don't give enough credit or trust to police in Malaysia, I say they don't deserve it. What they normally do is just stand in the middle of the road to direct traffic or set up speed traps at highways or wait for fireworks to go up during CNY and ask for bribes. People don't see the need to actually call the police because by the time they arrive, it's probably an hour later.

Our taxes all go to these idiots to so called pay their salaries and improve their facilities so that they can ensure us with the "highest" level of safety. Pure bullshit. Malaysian law is the same as that of Australia, we're based on the English common law system as both countries were once ruled by Britain. The only difference is probably the constitution, legislation and the statutes, not to forget that embarassing Islamic law jurisprudence which wanted to publicly cane a woman for drinking beer. The government probably doesn't want to follow the common law, but then again, what other basis can you use to sort the issue of equality among the races in Malaysia. This ass clown, Ahmad Fairuz Abdul Halim, proposed to change the law to sharia law and everything will be based on that. Imagine that, seriously. He was the alledged judge in the Lingam tape incident btw.

It's funny, how two countries which are so similar can yet be so different. The government thinks that the way to go is to offer scholarships to Malays on the basis that they are Bumiputera and not on the basis of grades is redundant. The government complains that the Chinese people who goes overseas to study have no motivation to come back to work for the government. I agree that statement is somewhat true, but in fact, it is true on the basis that the government is the one who has created a situation as such and are trying to centralise the blame on the Chinese.

By offering a scholarship to someone with 6A's for SPM and is probably going to fail his foundation year in medicine instead of offering one to a 11A's student who is likely to succeed in his pursuit in the medical field, the government are just implying that there is no equality among the races in Malaysia. Everyone has grown up getting used to that fact, which is why no Chinese in his rightful mind would want to serve the government. They want us to be motivated, but they have never taken the initiative to at least portray or launch some projects to try to attract people to actually work in Malaysia.

Why? Because they are afraid that their whole stupid scheme of biasness in education are going to be blown open and seen by the world. But in fact, what does the world think of Malaysia? A step back to move ten steps forward is definitely more worth taking than ten steps back and a step forward, but well...

Welcome to Malaysia.

Boring-ness. My Management paper is on Wednesday and I haven't started studying yet. ;/

We've already got the exam questions, so I guess I can start a bit later. Heh.

Anyways, there really hasn't been a lot going on lately apart from exams and everything else I mentioned. Football season's long gone, so I haven't really kicked anything for the last two months. My feet doesn't feel right. Sniffles.

Coming here has been quite a setback though, in football terms. I was like Fernando Torres in futsal, scoring for fun, in Malaysia. Now I'm like Ronaldo in his first season with Man Utd, since I came to Australia. I might not even score if you give me a clear run at goal. How sad is that. ;(

*Aren't these | | | | | cute?*

Okay, maybe outfield and futsal is different. But I like playing outfield coz I get more space to roam around. Maybe it's harder when you have to work a lot to ensure that the team has the right balance going forward and defending. Futsal is way more simpler. Haha.

Among other things, the girlfriend and I have been singing nursery rhymes again. No, not to our children, but to each other. Haha. Although I kind of forgotten some of them. Nursery rhymes are good for child development, they're like watching cartoons. Anyways, does anyone know any child these days who grows up with nursery rhymes? I don't know of any. ;/

Alright, I have to asdfbogil (you also must ah baby ;P) now. I've been nocturnalised by movies lately. Not good.

9 more days to go, baby. <3

Damn, I realise I haven't got a post in November. Sheesh, so I'm moving the date of this entry to the 5th (just in case I feel like blogging again today, I don't like the format where there is no date seperation for every post posted in the same day, sniffles). ;D

The girlfriend just went back to Sydney on Friday. ;(

But it was a great week spent together and I got to enjoy some good food without having to buy out. Haha. Thanks baby. I'll see you in 10 days. Hehe. <3

Also, we changed the bedsheet and pissed off my housemate's girlfriend, again. Don't know what's her problem though. It was pretty awkward at one point, coz I came back from exams and they were showering together and baby didn't know so she was just cooking outside. Then I realised that they were actually showering together coz their room door was open and who uses the hair dryer three times rite. So we had to stop cooking and go in the room to let them come out (they don't want us to know they shower together but I know since ages ago) and enter their room.

And the girlfriend has been very pig as to sleep talk with me most of the nights. Hehe. So the cute. ;D

Anyways, about two weeks more and I'm back home in the land of Malays. Pfft. It's pretty much a rare sight to see any of them here, and to think when I go back I'll encounter a river of them. Safety insecurity would be back on the cards when I go back.

I've had two papers so far and they were pretty okay. Still aiming for my HD for Accounting, but for Law I think a D would suffice. I lost about 14 and 12 marks for both papers respectively due to time constraints. Sniffles.

Anyways, the biggest DotA event in the world is gonna be hosted in Malacca this year (biggest coz' of prize money where winner takes home RM43,000 or somewhere within the RM40k region). I'm heading down with a couple of friends where we'll see the likes of Meet Your Makers, DTS, Poker Stars and MCiTY battle it out for the prize money, although most prolly one of the Chinese teams (either EHOME or CH) are going to win.

I've been sleeping torridly the last few days. Bad bad times. Oh well. On a side note, I expect there to be a grand welcoming of my return and it better be a good one. *hint for all you people* ;P

Byes.

Omg. Watching back old cartoons and just listening to the theme songs really puts a big smile on my face. ;D

Haha. I can't believe it's been so long since I last watched/heard from cartoons like Chip N Dale: Rescue Rangers, Little Lulu, Top Cat, Dexter's Laboratory, Johnny Bravo, Duck Tales, Bonkers, Goof Troop, Mighty Ducks, Darkwing Duck, Gummi Bears, The Flinstones, Speed Racer, Popeye, 2 Stupid Dogs, Sonic the Hedgehog (all 3), Pinky and the Brain, Double Dragon, Mummies Alive, Gargoyles, Scooby and Scrappy Doo, The Jetsons, The Powerpuff Girls (yeah, whatever), Carmen Sandiego, Secret Squirrel, Ed, Edd & Eddy, Swat Kats (definitely tops the list! T-Bone and Razor!). Omg, I think there's more but I forgot them.

Yes, I am a cartoon freak. Haha. But c'mon, nowadays the cartoons are nothing compared to the cartoons back then. Okay, with exception to Spongebob, Hey Arnold!, Martin Mystery and Totally Spies (yes, I mean it).

Ah, the good old days. Off to continue studying. Byes.

Yes, exactly what the title says. And also because I hardly or should I say never post up any sort of graphics on my blog, here's something for people (guys) to see.



— Yes, SC is back and back with a bang! Possibly by next year, Blizzard will launch SCII!

Here's a little peek for those of you who haven't seen how it's like before.



— Yup. Still the same old three races: Zerg, Protoss, Terran (L-R)



— But with WAY better graphics than the original SC.








Yup, with some new units and some old ones. For more info, just go on to YouTube and look up SCII Battle Report (there are four of them) or you can download them off the web and trust me, the HD quality graphics are phenomenal. If you think games like HoN and WarIII's graphics are brutal, this beats any game on Earth by a mile.

Alright, I'd better end this post here. The gf is gonna be like so wth with me for posting about this. Sniffles. ;/

A week and a half till exams start. Three weeks till exams end. Four weeks till I'm back in Malaysia. Miss me anyone? ;D

I haven't started any revision yet, which sucks coz' I've only got about a week or so to cover both Accounting and Law. The trend here is pretty messed up, coz' the uni gave us our Management exam questions already and the Microeconomics exam will be based on tute work. Not entirely euphoric, but a little estatic nonetheless.

I'm still aiming towards HD for all the subjects. I don't know whether they have scaling here, but hopefully they do. ;/

Yeah yeah, Justin Low: HD, keep dreaming rite? Well, there's no wrong in keeping your hopes a little high eh? Besides, I've been getting Ds and about 8-10/10 marks for my assignments and tute marks respectively so that ought to help out a little.

The one thing that sucks about Commerce is that you've got to write a lot. As in a lot a lot. Like one Law question takes up like 4-5 pages at least, and don't even get me started on Management. Sniffles.

Yes, and that ladies and gentlemen is my flaw. I hate writing. Well, on stuff that I already know of actually. I guess that is why I prefer creative writing, coz' at least I won't know what's gonna happen next and I have to think about how I want my writing to flow. Here is all about writing the facts that you already know, kind of a waste of time. Pfft.

Somewhat like a negligent misstatement case for example. In order to succeed in a case of negligent misstatement, the plaintiff must establish grounds that the defendant owed a duty of care to the plaintiff, the defendant has breached the duty of care owed to the plaintiff, and the damages suffered by the plaintiff was caused by the breach of the duty of care and is not too remote. Etc etc. That's where we begin talking about the elements of negligent misstatement as stated. Damn annoying, it's like knowing 1+1 = 2 but then having to write it out. But this is like doing a 1+1+1+1... = ? question (because of the length).

Maybe that's why I like doing science and mathematical subjects. I miss that sense of not knowing the answer until I complete it. Of doing different methods on every question, of needing to know the answer once I start doing a question. It's like solving a puzzle, the rubik's complex. Maybe that's why I'm pretty good at it too. ;D

This is like writing an answer of length 700-1000 words and when you're 200 words in, you already know the answer or even before you start doing it. Where the hell is the motivation to write 800+ words! ;/

Okay, I shall stop whining about Commerce because yes, I enjoy the 12 hours-a-week classes and being able to spend my time on the simpler things in life. ;)

This post shall serve as a reminder for me to study for the next two weeks and not let my effortless effort of doing well go to waste. Mehs, maybe just one more day? Off to take a shower now. Ciaoz people.


*The dreamer and the wine, poet without a rhyme,
A widowed writer torn apart by chains of hell.

I won't let you go. Never.

So long as the sun shall rise, the ocean shall speak, the world shall hear, the stars shall see, and the moonlight shall shine.

I will love you. 1½ years together and only the rest of our lives to go. I love you. <3


*What do you say to taking chances?

Life is interesting. Life is beautiful. If so, then death must be too.

"The Gods envy us. They envy us because we're mortal, because any moment may be our last. Everything is more beautiful because we're doomed".

The last few months has been a test of endurance. More so a test of time as well. I've been getting along nicely here with the surroundings as I like the peace, the quietness of the suburbs and how everything seems so simple.

I met some decent people, but most of the time I wander the pathways of uni on my own. Observing, figuring, and knowing. I've never been bad at judging people by just observing, and hardly ever wrong. People tend to lean towards the heart when it comes to telling about someone, and nobody ever thinks objectively. People are not rational. Society is not rational.

The Indian group here has two guys, two girls. You can tell from their accent and their whatever Indian thing that they are India Indians. Guy A is the one wearing specs, taking down every single thing the lecturer says in class, fuzzy hair, geeky bag and geeky walk, gels in just coz' he thinks he has a chance to impress the ladies with his answering the lecturer's questions and telling lame jokes kind of thing. But we all know that the ladies never go for that. Guy B is the guy who has sunglasses on him all the time, be it inside lecture halls and what not. He's the don't-take-notes at all kind of fellow, just listening in lectures and really works hard in tutes. You can tell he hasn't really been in a relationship with anyone as he always sits the furthest apart from the ladies and hardly ever gets into proper conversations with them apart from work and he always tries to find male friends of the same skin type. He's like the not-really-into the girls but wanting to meet someone outside of education life. Girl A is the loud-speaking, thick-accent, thinks she's a know-it-all kind of person but often scares people. She's the one that is like the hardly ever meets a guy as she always wants to know the things that Girl B does. She's like the Monica in high school, and Girl B is like the Rachel (referring to Friends). She's quite smart, but then makes a big deal of almost everything and always wants to impress the guys. She definitely will hook up with someone if someone is interested, but definitely not with Guy A. On the other hand, Girl B is the one that isn't too bright, a little pretty but wants to go outside of her league to find guys she can't get. She's not really interested with the Indian group but leans more to the Mauricius group to like try to find a way to branch out to actually snag a guy. Kind of like your little ice princess that wants the world at her feet, obeying her every want and need.

The Mauricius group are like easy-going people. They speak French most of the time, so it's kind of hard to actually interpret anything even by looking at expressions. They work hard, play hard and are your average kind of people. They're cool with you as long as you're cool with them and they're friendly. Never hypocritical as they do talk bad about people to you if they don't like them. That I can tell even if you speak in a thousand different languages. Haha. They enjoy the life here as it's not as fast as it is in the city but they always want that tad bit of excitement or more? I think prolly growing up along the beaches kinda grows on you in that sense. They're normal people, who don't actually seem interested in trying to hit on one another which is rather odd. Probably coz' one of the guys is interested in a variety of girls which includes Indian Girl B, the other is something like Indian Guy A, one of the girls has a boyfriend in the city and the other girl is your quiet girl which doesn't really appeal to the guys because she's quiet, but even when she's not she would be seen more like Indian Girl A. I don't know their actual numbers so I can't really define each of them but they all seem the same to me. Lazy sometimes, skipping class and attending lectures late but all in all, not too bad kinda people. Talking in French is key to them as they always go back to their own people to talk.

The China/HK group are the majority (85-90%). It feels like I'm studying in China sometimes. They're the type which are the most annoying and the most loud, as the numbers will back that up. Some of the girls would be those extremely desperate to get into a relationship kind of thing, trying their best to like woo the other China guys, but they're seen as those needy, desperate and only wanting a guy because she wants a guy and not because of how she feels. Which is partially kind of true because these girls are like those just wanting that extra bit of attention compared to her fellow desperatees. Seriously, these people should be diagnosed with ADD. Another part of the girls would be those not pretty girls but think they are and thinking that they can get any guy they want. They're extremely kiasu and think that they own the world and that everyone sees them as how beautiful they think they are but in fact everyone sees them as a bitch. Then they'll complain to each other about how they've been treated bla bla bla, which makes them more of an idiot. They're never smart but always think that they are, and China guys resent them for being like that, so they normally would end up bitching about each other when the other one is not around. Kind of like your typical blonde, Chinese style. Others would just fit into the anonymous category, either really concentrating on studying or not that desperate for a guy but still would trade places with type A if possible. China guys are like 20% of the China population and either they have a girlfriend, don't want a girlfriend, or can't get a girlfriend. Okay, maybe all guys fall into those categories but yeah, it's either they have a girlfriend there and they both are apart from the rest of the group. Or the guys just mingle with other China guys because of the resentment towards the girls. Or they mix with the girls and sort of like fall into the category of Indian Guy A.

The Indon group has two guys and two girls as well I think. Guy A and B are the same kind of people, both wanting Girl A but Girl A not wanting them. They're like good friends and they always joke around with the girls. They're not too bad a group, except they talk way too loud and talk too much as they tend to disrupt lectures. Guy A and B are like your big-sized, not too smart, decent, well-mannered kind of guys. They're not desperate to seek a relationship but when an opportunity comes, they definitely won't let it go. I think it's only a matter of time before one of them actually really tries to hit on Girl A, but who knows. Girl A has that girl next door kind of look, but she's Indon. Haha. She's pretty and definitely will attract attention but she resents the attention as most of the time she'd rather just hang back and talk to Girl B. She's not really into the two guys, but from the way she is, possibly she's a gold digger or maybe she just wants to wait for the right guy to come along. Hard to tell which though. She's the type of girl that is really health conscious but can't resist temptation kind of thing. Most of the time she'll order salad, but at the same time have a cup of fries to go with that. Girl B is the quiet girl which has a crush on either Guy A or B. I can't tell which but definitely one of them. She's the one that wears specs, a lil geeky, but not that smart either, gets along well with Girl A but sort of like gets a lil jealous of Girl A's looks. She doesn't really need a guy but if possible she'd want a guy coz' she feels insecure about whether or not she'll be able to find a guy out there who wants her back.

The Vietnam group (prolly like 7-8 people) consists mostly of guys. They're the really study people. But then language barrier makes it hard for them to actually understand the syllabus well. So most of their time are spent on the books and mingling among each other. Their relationship life is almost non-existant as they pretty much don't give a crap about each other, apart from two or three guys who seem to be inseperable.

The Malaysian group is almost non-existant. Prolly coz' I came in during the middle of the year but there's only one other Malaysian that did the same as me, and she mixes with the China group. Generally, Malaysians here are different from Malaysians back in Malaysia. Back in Malaysia, you'll always be who you are, as who you were in high school and college. Here you're a totally different person. You get to be whoever you want to be. Problem with that? There is no status quo. Personally, I think Malaysians are the dumbest kind of people you can find here. They try so hard to fit in that they actually don't. They resent ang mohs but try so hard to act like one, where is the logic in that? The abscence of a status quo pretty much puts a lot of things out of place. Like how the girl you can never ever get in high school, you now have free opportunities to talk to. The guy who is like the nerd, the bullied, the almost non-noticeable person, now has a chance to be like damn cool or something. People don't change. There is a reason why you were like that once, and by altering that, puts things not the way it should be. Everybody lies.

Malaysian girls always want to look nice. Fact, nobody wants to look bad. But Malaysians think too highly of themselves. Girls like to pose in photos with their hand on the waist-neck tilt pose, trying to think that they are that sexy and that beautiful. They strive and hope to find that dream guy from TV series, but they never ever get them and the simple explanation they can come up with is "All guys are the same". Ever wondered why the guys you wind up with are never the guy that seems to be the one? Because you're not being who you are. They think all guys are jerks, only wanting pretty girls and then going to jump ship to a different boat when they're done riding them. That's because those are the kind of guys they only mix with. If you're the kind of girl that constantly has like 50-60 photos in every FB album, posing with your hand on the waist-neck tilt pose or having almost every guy holding you kind of thing, chances are you're either single, dumped, or/and never been in a relationship for more than 3 years. Either that, or your boyfriend simply doesn't care about your partying style because he has his own group to party with or has cheated on you before or he's gonna end up being the guy that hurts you like mentioned before.

They often ponder and ask where are all the nice guys or why is it that the guys you want never seem to be around and the guys that you don't want are always around you. Malaysians are not ang mohs. The good guys are not going to be around like those movies or those TV shows. Good guys never like girls with partying habits and such. Yes, not all good guys are those who are tough, or strong, or bad, or vice, or extremely hot. But who ever is? That guy you met at the bar, you think he's the one? Drinking, partying? Why else are guys doing these things? They're there for a fling, a one night stand, a hook up right until he gets tired of you. Yeah, really good guys if you'd ask me. Do you think they really love you? Good guys are out there,  you girls are just not taking the effor to find them, coz' you're still hoping for your Disney fairytale but living life in a totally different way because of the insecurities that surround you if you're alone and having no guy friends or no friends around you.

Malaysian guys always have their eyes on the girls. At first sight, they'd always want that girl which draws the most attention, the one that catches the eye, the one that is most outstanding, but in the end it won't work out in the long run. Malaysian guys are like either looking to hook up with another girl, or are just plain not wanting to be in a relationship. Those who are either looking to hook up with the girls prolly will be those guys with a not too noticeable high school life, decent college life and will always stick around the girls. Like constantly going out with the girls in hope that they will like them, which usually never comes true because of the nature stated in the high school part. You can change from high school to uni, but you can't change what high school made you. Those with quite a good high school rep prolly would've ended up being in those groups where you'd see them not in a relationship but always having good friends, or already in a relationship and happy, or the opposite of those which is your typical party boy which all the girls fall for but doesn't give a crap about the girls (the type where the girls go for and in the end the guy dumps them). Malaysian guys are extremely predictable, most are clueless about relationships, prolly coz' most are hooked onto video games. The guys who are like close friends with girls, either prolly had a crush on the girl before, or is still having a crush, those crushes never fade but can be rekindled if a spark were to occur. Either that, or that is the really nice guy or the good guy, but girls will only treat them as friends, and in some cases, the feeling might be mutual but definitely at one point it wasn't.

They often have that close bond with other guys with their whole instantly "Yo bro, wassup? Sup bro?" kind of thing, but boys will always be boys. If there comes a time where they have to do something which betrays the other, definitely it would happen. Unless of course you have developed that friendship since a long time ago but then, that might still happen, as it did to me. The rule is that no "brother" is ever going to be before a girl. No matter how much they put it, they'd go for the girl. Simple as that. They don't really care which girl, but the rule is the rule. Good guys on the other hand are the ones hidden, a needle in the haystack. You'll only know you find one when it pokes you and even then, coz' of the pain from the poke, you'll not want to grab it again.

I've said enough. Toodles.


*It's the last day on Earth.

The days the doors close,
The echoes fill your soul,
They won't say which way to go,
Just trust your heart,
To find what you're here for,
Open another door,
But I'm not sure anymore,
It's just so hard.


Another month and I'll be back in Malaysia. The next month wouldn't really be something to look forward to. Make or break time. And it isn't just about the exams.

Life is never simple. Life never stops and wait for you. The choices we make defines us and decides whether what we have stands or falls. Okay, I've talked so much about that before but now it's really a reality check for me again.

One more time, in the hot seat, in that crucial time, that one moment, that one decision, that will change everything, or nothing.

Maybe I'm too worked up over nothing, maybe I'm not. Time will tell.


*Voices in my head tell me they know best,
Got me on the edge they're pushing, pushing, they're pushing,
I know they've got a plan,
But the ball's in my hands.

Wow, it's been more than two weeks since I last found out I was autistic. Mehs, what's life without autism anyway.

Reflection is always a good thing. Looking back however, often never is. It's like when you drive a car, you rely on the reflection of the mirror to look behind you so you can still be wary of the things in front of you. Looking back on the other hand, well, let's just say we both know what happened to me right in front of my house. Heh.

I've always wondered whether I was the weird one, the odd one out, the unreasonable one, the crazy one, the different one, but I guess I'm not all the time like that. It's somehow weird that everyone wants to be happy. What is happy?

An ideal life would be...

Well, spot on Mr. Bernard Leong. You somehow managed to find this little island where I have been for so long. Maybe you were on the other side and I didn't see you there, knowing me hating to move, hating to change things and all.

You can be my Wilson. I'm referring to House again btw. ;D

Being happy is never happy. Everyone thinks there are two sides to the equation — happiness and miserable-ness. I say there's three.

Being happy is an excuse to say you're not miserable, and that you're not upset, but is it really that good? Is happy the best? If the world is so happy, why does everyone look for something more? Why does everyone want something more out of things? Why is everyone not content with what they have and just live that way?

People say I'm miserable. Maybe sometimes I am, but most of the time I am content. I don't strive for change because I don't need change. I don't need anything better, I don't want anything better, because I already have what I want.

How content are you when you are happy? The answer is never. Life blinds us all into believing everything has a fairytale, everything has a make-believe in which there are some people being able to live that. The fact is the happiest of people are the ones that are most likely to be the most miserable of people. There is fine line between misery and happiness, just like how there is a fine line between love and hate. You can't hate something you don't love. You can't be miserable if you've never been happy.

Nothing can be nothing, and anything can be anything. Temporal lobes and pituitary glands explains a lot on how we perceive and feel. Just like how rationality is key to understanding. If you can't rationalize something, you can't understand it.

Okay, I don't really know where I'm going with this. I'm just blabbering again. Oh wells, I'm off to continue my normal autistic day. Toodles.


*Tell me it's not all in my head.